Missing her

As I was about to go down the office stairs, she called me and asked me to choose a shade of lipstick. I chose without hesitation because she already texted me about it. I thanked her and left. While waiting for a jeep I was thinking what happened with us. Are we going to continue being cold to each other. Or its just me being cold to her. Is she giving me gifts as a peace offering? But why doesn't she talk? Why not ask me if we can talk. Or maybe our friendship had tarnished already.

We met when I was 17 years old while we were both in line to apply as a service crew. That started our friendship. We were both hired and spend many times together. We were very open with each other. When we ended our employment contract, our friendship continued. I visit her at home, I was close to her siblings and parents. We faced problems together until the time came when we have to go on separate ways. It was not planned, its just happened, communication was cut, we didn't see each other but still I know in my heart she ia my best friend. Life has to continue, I have to work, meet new friends and still I miss her. So I decided to visit her. We saw each other again, there was a lot of stories, catching ups, and communication continued. It felt that we didn't even parted ways. But then, fate has separated us again. Life goes on, she had her own family, I had mine until news came and fate brought us back together. Those time were precious to me. As they say, even though you are worlds apart as long as the bond is there it would just go stronger. Were still best friends or maybe I was the only one thinking that....

Fast forward.... She asked me if she can apply at our company. Being in the HR department it was easy for me to assist her to have a job. Nobody knows that we were best friends. We don't talk often but we always text each other. Until, one of her workmates mentioned that an something happened to her wherein she has all the chances to tell. She could have texted me so I can help her. After that I talked to her, asking whats happening and why she's not telling me. We sort things out and I thought everything would be fine again. One day she texted me crying and we talk and found out that she is still in a relationship with a married man I h and she's married as well. The thing is she already told me that they are no longer together. I didn't say a word. Being a best friend to her I understood her, let her cry and of course gave a few advice.

And then the trigger day arrived. My assistant told me he saw her with one of our employees holding each other's hand. Im irritated not because she might be in another relationship but because she didn't tell me(again!). I tried her, texted her first if she will tell me but no she didn't mention anything even if I tell her some clues. Until she said, she don't know how to tell me. I asked her how is it difficult to tell something to her best friend. She never answered that. She never said sorry. She didnt explain. I was hurt because I thought I was her best friend that she can tell me anything, that she can count on me. But I felt I was in the dark, I suddenly questioned myself, do I really know her? There were instances that we were on the same work location, she could have waited for me or could have texted me so we can talk personally. But there was no move from her. I jut got tired for doing he first move.

Am I wrong? Should I forget about what happened and just remember our 17 years of friendship? But is she putting an effort to preserve that friendship? But honestly I miss her. It hurts to see her at the office and yet we don't talk as friends. Should I swallow my pride and just do the first move again? What can you say?